Changes....

    I haven't written on here in forever. For some reason I began to think about my blog recently, and wanted to start writing again. Sometimes I get the inspiration to write and then other times it seems to go away. Maybe I am more in-tuned again with my heart, and what is going on inside me and that I really do have things to share. There have been valuable lessons I have learned on this journey called life. There always is, it's just a matter sometimes if we are listening. It would take forever to share all that has happened these past 3 years but I will start by giving a few highlights and maybe at some point go back and fill in more details of things I've learned along the way or other adventures.

    My last blog I wrote was back when I lived in the mountains of Colorado for a year. These past few years have been a whirlwind for me. Being in Colorado was harder than I expected. I loved living in the mountains and I miss that all the time along with the snow, but the biggest thing that was hard for me was the winter months, feeling lonely a lot of the time.  I went out there to work at a camp full time. I have worked at another kids camp in Iowa for 7 summers and so I thought I would try to do full time camp ministry, but it was definitely different than I expected.  7 of the months I was out there I worked as a house keeper and then towards the end I worked in the kitchen as well as doing the housekeeping.

   Not all was lost. I did learn things out there. I was able to help out with outdoor education programs where schools would come out for a few days and the kids would learn basic outdoor things like water ecology, wilderness survival, animal tracks, and other cool nature things. There were ropes courses and zip lines for the kids to do as well.

    I can say I did enjoy working in the kitchen. I learned a lot about working with others and I came to appreciate the differences in people, even when I didn't always agree. I learned a lot about mercy and grace first hand, from making countless mistakes, but watching grace and mercy in action being shown to me over and over, was awesome. Something I am still learning. I am not perfect and yet grace seems to still find me where I am at. I am thankful for that. I am thankful people who have sowed into my life and released grace and mercy to me even when I didn't deserve it, or I messed up a bunch.

   Some of the things I miss about Colorado is some of my dear friends I got to meet. I miss the mountains. I am such a mountain girl at heart. Always was and still is. I miss the snow. I was only over snow once and that was because I got stuck in the snow, but besides that I never really got sick of it. It snowed a lot and it was my first real winter I had. I am one of those people who get excited about every snowfall that happens. I miss hiking. I got such an appreciation of hiking there than I have ever had before. It was amazing. I had some epic adventures hiking and I would love to go back and hike the 14ers  (which are the mountains that are 14,000 ft high)  I miss the wildlife. I loved seeing elk and moose right in my yard. I loved capturing the photos of wildlife. Although I was never able to get a picture of a bear, at least not yet.

     Somethings during that time are best to let go of, but other things I carry with me, and they shape me into who I am. I am glad for the most part to be back in North Carolina.  Since being back home, I have had two different nanny jobs and now I am done with being a nanny now.  I am working now at the White Water Center.  That is a very quick version of my life these past couple of years. Another time I can go back and fill in details. :)

Reflections of Simple Treasures of Truth Found in Nature!!

    This summer, while I was in North Carolina, there were some difficult things I was going through. Through different circumstances, there was always a choice of whether or not I was going to look to God and choose Him, or dwell on my situation or things that could not be changed. On one particular day, I was having a hard time Choosing God, and my vision was blurred from trying to make sense of things on my own.  I was in a place of self pity, and was not happy with it,  so instead I began to journal my frustration, confusion, and hurt out on paper. After a little time of doing that, my frustration turned into a surrendering of those hard things, and it shifted into more worship and thankfulness. Instead of dwelling on the hurt and confusion of the things I was going through, the thought came to me, "I could help someone else, and choose to serve and bless."  A joy began to rise in me as  I decided to help my mom in the garden. In that moment, it was almost a strange thought to me of wanting to help my mom in the garden, and it almost surprised me, because most of the time, helping out in the garden was more of a chore rather than a willingness to serve and bless.

     Anyways, I asked my mom if  I could help her out in the garden. She was a little taken back by my request at first.   We went outside and before she was showing me what I could do, she began talking to me about baby birds her and my dad had seen that morning. She was saying that there was a nest on the front porch of our house with baby birds in it. Earlier that morning my mom and dad were watching the baby birds learn how to fly. One of the birds was having a little bit of trouble, it would fly for a little and then come back to the nest or other times it would fly for a little and fall to the ground. All the while the mother bird was right there flying with the bird, helping it out and coaxing it to try again. Eventually the bird would fly more for longer amounts of time and soon it was gone. It learned how to fly!!
( I am sure there is more to the story but I forget all of it, but this is what I remember and what stuck out to me.)   

     My first thought when hearing the story was, 'the bird has wings, and it has to learn how to fly?'  Hearing that story was so encouraging to me for a few reasons,  1, being, I could very much relate to the baby bird. It was almost surprising or I never really thought of the fact that birds fall, I mean I know they fall and I see them a lot on the ground, but it's almost hard to imagine them having to try again and again to fly, even though they have wings, and it seems like flying would come so natural to them. Also what surprised me is that I have always imagined the mother bird pushing out the baby bird and expecting  it to just fly almost on the first chance.   This was not the case with the birds my parents saw. The birds still needed practice and a time of getting their wings stronger.
 
      For me, there have been times where I have tried something or gone to a new place, and I've fallen or, messed up and it was a picture for me to keep on trying and get up again. During the summer it was even a picture of my next step of moving to Colorado, and the thoughts of fear of, what if I fail, or mess up?  Those thoughts have been pretty real to me.  It's like in that moment of hearing about the baby bird, to me it was like just knowing, it's ok to mess up or to fall, but I just got step out of the nest and  keep trying, and soon I will began to fly as well and my wings will become stronger.  God often times speaks to me and teaches me things through that of birds. There is a quote in the song Black Bird, by the Beatles that says,  "Take these broken wings and learn how to Fly!"  I love that quote so much. God is wanting me to fly with Him and not be afraid of falling, and to know that He is like that mother bird who would help the bird keep learning how to fly, and fly with the baby bird. Hearing the story of the baby bird was so liberating for me.

   After that, my mom began to show me the beauty that was in the garden. It was so rewarding to see my mom treasure her garden. I loved seeing the beauty that had sprung forth all around,  from the hard work and time she spent in it, from something that was once bare and full of rocks. I enjoyed seeing her excitement as she showed me certain kinds of flowers that were in bloom, and seeing her heart come alive to what she enjoyed doing. I began to appreciate and understand a little more about gardens that day.  After that I started on the projects my mom had for me to do, all the while having a thankfulness and an awe of God, and of the lessons I learned that day. A little while later, work was interrupted by a huge afternoon thunderstorm which was another wonderful gift to me, in knowing that I love thunderstorms.
 
    A seed of  joy had been planted in my heart that day as I chose to look past my own world of hurt and confusion, to a much greater world of things God was wanting me to see about His kingdom of Love, and what that looked like. On that particular day, love was as simple as choosing to serve, and be present, not to hide or focus on myself.  That day was a choice of choosing life. Do I always choose the right choice?  No,  but there is always another chance. In fact everyday there are so many choices and decisions of choosing God and His way, rather than our own way.  In those moments of choosing the Lord rather than our struggle, that is worship to Him. God loves it.  In turn we get to bless Him, and He gives back so much more than we can even imagine.  I love this verse in Joshua that says,
 "choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve,.... But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD." -Joshua 24:15

Every day we can choose the Lord, find His Joy, and live in the Kingdom of His Extravagant Love, even in the midst of what we are going through!!!! I want to live in His realm of Love!!

(picture is not mine, I just thought it was cool)

Simpleness of life lived in realm of Grace!

I am wanting this to be about the lessons God is teaching me in my life, and the things concerning that of grace as well.  I hope it can be a blessing to who ever reads it.